The Writing Process: Example of a Final Draft

Posted on August 30, 2012 by M. B. Weston

 

If you are new to this website, I have been writing a series of blog posts about the writing process. During one of those posts, I gave an example of a pre-draft using one of my earlier drafts of a short story called “The White Rider,” which will soon be featured in an urban fantasy anthology by Kerlak Publishing.

As a final wrap up to my “Writing Process Series,” I’m posting the final draft of the prologue, so you can see the changes I made after the pre-draft. Click here to read the original pre-draft to see how drastic the changes are. I will also be adding a few footnotes every now and then to explain why I made certain changes and what part of the process helped me.

Elysian Chronicles fans, take note: “The White Rider” is actually part of the Elysian Chronicles world, and it takes place between Out of the Shadows and Book III. In this short story, I give just a few clues about where the series is heading, and trust me, it’s nothing you are expecting.

I shoved a piece of bread speckled with mold into my mouth. I convulsed as I chewed and forced myself to swallow. I had not eaten in a week, and moldy bread was better than no bread. You’ve swallowed worse, I reminded myself (1). I shook the crumbs off my matted beard (2). Don’t start getting prissy again.

I crouched behind the dumpster near a restaurant door’s inviting glow. The patrons’ voices and the soft clinking of silverware (3) comforted me. Part of me cautioned myself to keep my distance, but I yearned for human interaction that I had not enjoyed in months.

You’re safe, another part of me said. No one will venture near this dumpster, and if they do, they’ll run away from your stench. I had not bathed in weeks, and my tattered clothes—once a dress-shirt and pants—reeked of perspiration and filth.(4)

I flexed my fingers, trying to keep circulation flowing. Though it was only late afternoon, the December air hovered near freezing (5). I leaned against the dumpster and listened, wishing I spoke Romanian (6).

Glass shattered at the end of the alley (7). I crouched behind a few stacked boxes and peeked out. My heart started to pound.

I inhaled for five seconds, counting each beat—the quickest way I knew to calm my fear.

They lost your trail in Italy, I reminded myself.

I exhaled for five seconds, again counting each beat.

Another part of me chimed in. They might have picked your trail up again.

Inhale. One, two, three, four, five (8). I focused on the alley, searching the trash, scraps of metal, and shadows for movement. My fingers combed the ground for a potential weapon (9). I found a metal pipe and pulled it to my chest(10) in silence. Only my breath turning to fog (11) betrayed (12) my existence behind the dumpster.

A shadow leapt across the walls twenty feet away.

My body tingled with adrenaline (13). I laced (14) my fingers around the pipe and crouched, ready to spring once whatever it was showed itself.

A tomcat emerged from the darkness and hobbled toward me. I released the pipe. My heart rate slowed as the old thing wound around my leg.

Stupid cat.

I offered it the last of my bread. After a few sniffs, the cat took the morsel and sat next to me as it ate. I ran my hand down its fur, ignoring the fleas and dirt (15). It curled up next to me and purred. I had to admit it was nice to have a temporary companion—especially a warm one.

I twirled my Princeton class ring around my finger, and again contemplated pawning it. I had already sold my prized gold cuff links. Keep the ring, I told myself. I needed something to remind me of my former life. The ring would also identify my body if I died (16), and my brother would finally know what happened to me. Though I had not seen him for six months, thoughts of Dean still made me grin. (17)

The street lights flickered. Night was approaching. I hid my thoughts of Dean away and grabbed the pipe. I needed all my senses alert to outsmart those who pursued me. Please understand, of all those who have been hunting (18) me, I fear the humans the least. (19)

  1. I want the reader to realize how dire Peter’s situation is.
  2. “Matted beard” tells the reader a bit of what Peter looks like, always difficult to do when writing in1st person, and it tells the reader Peter’s state of cleanliness. It’s also a good sensory detail.
  3. Sensory details: Close your eyes and picture yourself right outside a restaurant. What do you hear? Voices and silverware, so I added it in.
  4. Sensory details
  5. Sensory details
  6. Romanian is a specific language, and it indicates the country he is in.
  7. I changed “something crashed” to “glass shattered.” Glass shattered is more specific, and it creates a real sound in the reader’s head.
  8. I added the inhale, exhale parts for two reasons: 1) It shows Peter fears something and the extent to which he fears it, and 2) readers will get bored without a conversation or a break in long paragraphs. Because I open with Peter being alone, I decided to show his thoughts to break up the narrative.
  9. I wanted the reader to feel the ground and the dirt and grime without taking too much time. “Fingers combed the ground” seemed like a good way to indicate sensory details and also urgency.
  10. I don’t remember my original wording, but “pulled it to my chest” was suggested by an advance reader.
  11. Sensory detail, breath turning to fog is a visual image the reader can use.
  12. I used “betrayed” because the word has a negative connotation, and its shows forces acting against my character.
  13. Sensory details.
  14. “Laced” creates a better picture than “wrapped,” and I can thank my advance readers for this one.
  15. Sensory details added.
  16. I added this to show that Peter’s death could happen at any time. He is resigned to it, and it is almost academic for him. This should make the reader wonder about him.
  17. I added in Dean here, since he is a key character in the story.
  18. Note the use of “pursue” and “hunt”. You will see on my original draft that I used “hunt” twice. I needed to change it, and a thesaurus helped.
  19. This is my hook. I want to jolt the reader a bit here. I’m hoping for this series of emotional reaction to the story: “Oh, this poor person hiding in the street. -> Why is he there? -> Who is he afraid of? It must be really bad for him to be hiding out for this long. -> Wait. He went to Princeton? How did he end up here? -> What on earth is chasing him?” I hope it works.

I hope this series has helped a few of you with your writing. I will be continuing with writing posts after Labor Day, as soon as I return from DragonCon.

Fantasy novelist M. B. Weston is the author of The Elysian Chronicles, a fantasy series about guardian angel warfare and treason. Weston speaks to children, teens, and adults about writing and the process of getting published. For more information on M. B. Weston, visit www.mbweston.com. Find out more about The Elysian Chronicles at www.elysianchronicles.com.

 

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Recap of The Writing Process Posts

Posted on August 25, 2012 by M. B. Weston

Over the past month, I have posted a few articles on my blog about the writing process. If you missed them, here they are:

Fantasy novelist M. B. Weston is the author of The Elysian Chronicles, a fantasy series about guardian angel warfare and treason. Weston speaks to children, teens, and adults about writing and the process of getting published. For more information on M. B. Weston, visit www.mbweston.com. Find out more about The Elysian Chronicles at www.elysianchronicles.com.

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The Writing Process Part 10 – Read Your Manuscript Out Loud

Posted on August 20, 2012 by M. B. Weston

Don’t neglect the last, and most important step in the writing process: reading your work out loud.

A few weeks ago, a friend of mine asked via Twitter: “Mrs. @mbweston, what’s your writing process?” To answer his question, I’ve been writing a series of blog posts about how I go about my personal writing process. So far, we’ve covered:

You’ve applied the changes your advance readers suggested, and you are ready to send your manuscript to the publisher, right?

Not yet.

I highly suggest, if possible, that you read the story out loud. This might sound crazy, but it’s a good final step to catch the rest of the errors you might have missed. (I admit I have skipped this step more than once when I have been on deadline, but I don’t recommend it unless it’s necessary.)

When I first read through A Prophecy Forgotten (my first novel) out loud, it took me about 12 hours, and I lost my voice. Now, I use a text-to-speech website: http://text-to-speech.imtransl0ator.net/. It reads exactly what I have written, such as when I write though and meant through. You can also download text-to-speech apps on your smart phone or tablet.

These are a few things you will catch when you read your manuscript out loud. (Remember, I’ve compiled this list because I’ve made all of these mistakes and only caught them when I read my manuscript out loud.):

  • Missing words. Believe it or not, when you read, your brain inserts words that aren’t there that are supposed to be there. Somehow, the process of speaking what your read forces your brain to read what is actually there.
  • Words that look similar but aren’t. Though and through are good examples of this.
  • Words that sound similar but aren’t. Two, too, and to.
  • Missing commas. I find several places where I need commas when I read out loud.
  • Run-on sentences. That triple compound sentence you thought was so brilliant simply might not read well. I’m the compound sentence queen, and I’m convinced half of the periods in my novels wouldn’t exist without reading my work out loud.
  • Final cut/paste problems. I’ve often done a cut and paste and neglected to reread the sentence to make sure it makes sense.
  • Grammar problems resulting from grammar fixes. Sometimes a grammar fix requires fixing more than one word. For instance, if you want to change “He had been waiting,” to “He waited,” you need to change three words. If you read it out loud, you might discover your “corrected” sentence actually reads: “He waiting.”
  • Silly dialogue. You will find that some of your dialogue sounds incredibly stupid when you read it out loud. Don’t beat yourself up over it. Fix it.
  • Other places full of “stupid”. Sometimes, phrases sound brilliant in our heads, yet cheesy when we actually hear the words out loud. You want to catch all of your stupid phrases before your publisher and your readers do.

Read your manuscript out loud and send it off as soon as possible, especially since you are probably sick of it by now. Once it’s gone, make sure to reward yourself for all your hard work! You deserve it!

Fantasy novelist M. B. Weston is the author of The Elysian Chronicles, a fantasy series about guardian angel warfare and treason. Weston speaks to children, teens, and adults about writing and the process of getting published. For more information on M. B. Weston, visit www.mbweston.com. Find out more about The Elysian Chronicles at www.elysianchronicles.com.

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The Writing Process Part 9 – Dealing With Critique

Posted on August 17, 2012 by M. B. Weston

Handling criticism is one of the most important parts of creating a great story.

A few weeks ago, a friend of mine asked via Twitter: “Mrs. @mbweston, what’s your writing process?” To answer his question, I’ve been writing a series of blog posts about how I go about my personal writing process. So far, we’ve covered:

You can hear critiques from your advance readers two ways: 1) in person, or 2) through their notes and comments. Some of my readers hand me their notes and let me have at it. Others like to sit down, usually over coffee, and discuss their findings with me. The latter method is the most thorough, but the former doesn’t sting as much.

The most important thing to remember: when your reader doesn’t understand something, it’s your fault. As the writer, it’s your job to communicate your story to the reader. If your readers are confused, it’s your fault for failing to communicate that part of the story properly. Don’t argue with them. Ask for advice on how you can change it. Above all, don’t yell.

However, I will not say that the advance reader is always right. Someone’s decision to like or dislike your story is a matter of opinion, and opinions will differ widely among your advance readers. My funniest example of this: In the original version of Out of the Shadows, I killed off a dragon named Kinole who had become my hero’s ally. Two of my best advance readers, @JillEBond and Sasha, wrote differing comments on the manuscript:

  • Jill: “I can’t believe you killed Kinole, you *expletive*!”
  • Sasha: “I’m glad Kinole is dead. He was annoying me.”

At first, I had no idea what to do about such differing opinions. I knew something about the scene affected both readers on an emotional level, but I was unsure how to fix it. I decided that Jill’s emotional reaction was stronger, and I cut the death scene. (Jill’s argument that a cute, stuffed-animal dragon would be a great seller also kept poor Kinole alive.) However, something about Kinole annoyed Sasha, so I toned a few of those qualities down.

Because your advance readers will have separate opinions, keep these principles in mind when reading their critiques:

  • Don’t begin making changes until you read through most of the critiques. See the above for my reasoning on this. (However, make grammar changes right away if you can.)
  • When you receive opposing critiques, try to figure out the heart of the issue before deciding what to do. See the Kinole illustration for details.
  • Some of your readers aren’t going to like characters that the majority of people may love. One of my readers despises my main character, Davian. This reader is in the minority, and I know the motivations behind his disgust. I keep that in mind when I am reading his comments.
  • Your readers might have different tastes in writing than you and your audience. A person who reads only romance probably won’t like my writing. However, taste differences often go deeper than genre. One of my readers prefers adjective-filled, flowery writing and often inserts ideas for description that don’t match my style. I’m not a flowery writer—especially when it comes to emotion. I would rather show the reader my character’s reaction and let the reader imagine the rest. That’s me, but it’s not everyone. I don’t want to change my writing’s voice, but I do want to pay attention to anything that might make my writing better. I usually end up taking a few key descriptive words out of this person’s comments, and make it work in my own voice.
  • If all your readers comment on a particular section, but their comments are different, you may have a larger, structural problem that needs fixing. I’ve noticed that when one section gets too many comments that don’t fit, I either haven’t explained myself enough earlier, I need to adjust a plot issue, or I need to alter the paragraph. Often I find that the change the story actually needs has nothing to do with my readers’ comments, but it fixes all of them.
  • On that note, don’t change something huge before thinking it through first. Always consider the heart of the issue. One of my readers suggested I change Tommy to a twelve year old instead of a seven year old in A Prophecy Forgotten. His reasoning: when I wrote scenes from Tommy’s point of view, it made him feel disjointed. The problem was not Tommy’s age. It was switching from writing in an adult point of view to writing in a child’s point of view. I solved the problem by eliminating Tommy’s point of view entirely, which also added to the novel’s suspense by making him unpredictable.
  • Just because your readers don’t like it doesn’t mean it isn’t necessary. In this case, I’m referring to killing off characters, but you can apply it to your specific situation. I killed off two popular characters in Out of the Shadows. Both deaths were necessary, especially for my third book, and a few people didn’t like it.
  • Some people are just overly critical or don’t know what they are talking about. If one of your advance readers seems unreasonably critical, treats you with condescension, or seems like he has no idea what he is talking about, ignore the comments and don’t use him (or her) on your next manuscript. After a few tries, you will know who you can trust and who you can’t.
  • Remember that your readers are in ultra-critical mode because you need them to be in ultra-critical mode. Take it easy on yourself. Your readers are looking for errors because you have instructed them to do so. Chances are, the people who read your story for fun probably wouldn’t have noticed.
  • Last but not least, remember that every writer makes these mistakes. You are not a failure because your draft contains mistakes that you missed. You are a success because you are willing to seek help and listen to advice. This is part of the process of producing a final manuscript.

Above all, remember to thank your readers for their time. I try to 1) mention my advance readers in the acknowledgements section of my novels and 2) give them a free, signed copy of the novel when it comes out. Try to do something similar, especially if you want them to keep reading for you.

Once you apply your advance readers’ suggested changes, you’re almost done! You only have one step left, and that is the next post!

Fantasy novelist M. B. Weston is the author of The Elysian Chronicles, a fantasy series about guardian angel warfare and treason. Weston speaks to children, teens, and adults about writing and the process of getting published. For more information on M. B. Weston, visit www.mbweston.com. Find out more about The Elysian Chronicles at www.elysianchronicles.com.

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The Writing Process Part 8 – Using Advance Readers

Posted on August 15, 2012 by M. B. Weston

Your most valuable writing asset isn’t your computer, grammar knowledge, or storytelling ability. It’s your arsenal of advance readers.

A few weeks ago, a friend of mine asked via Twitter: “Mrs. @mbweston, what’s your writing process?” To answer his question, I’ve been writing a series of blog posts about how I go about my personal writing process. So far, we’ve covered:

Have you ever applied an update to a software program or a smartphone app only to have it crash immediately (or worse, lock up your device)? How frustrated did you feel? I usually end up yelling into my computer or phone, hoping the software developers can somehow hear me. “If only,” we think, “they had tested this on a few people to make sure it worked before they released it to the world!”

This is why many companies have beta users: people who volunteer to test the software to see how it works before it reaches the public.

You don’t want your cell phone company to send you an update without first testing it. In the same way, you shouldn’t consider your manuscript complete without letting a few people read it first. This post will discuss how to use your advance readers (or your beta readers, depending on what you call them).

Why you need advance readers:

  • You already know exactly what is supposed to be happening in your manuscript. An advance reader doesn’t. You see your story clearly in your head. You know what your characters look like and how and why they react the way you do. When you read your own writing, you already know exactly what is going on. You will never be able to catch whether you’ve actually communicated what is going on without help from someone else. For instance, I still remember when one of my advance readers told me she had no idea what Gabriella, one of my main characters, looked like when she read my first book, A Prophecy Forgotten. I read through the manuscript and discovered I had never described the poor girl. I saw her clearly in my head. I just forgot to tell the reader about it.
  • You have seen your own writing too much to catch all the mistakes. You’ve read over the though when it should be through at least ten times. You need another pair of eyes. I cannot tell you the amount of mistakes my advance readers have caught that I skipped over, even after several editing runs.
  • You might have written something that, well, stinks or needs rewriting. You might think your story is the greatest in the world, but if you are the only one who likes it, you won’t make many sales. You need some outside opinions of how your story works before you drop it on the general public and make it open to Amazon reviews. After testing my second book, Out of the Shadows, a few of my advance readers told me they didn’t feel compelled to root for Tommy—one of the most important characters in the Elysian Chronicles series. I had to rewrite almost a third of the book to make Tommy a more compelling character.
  • You want the criticism before you send your manuscript off to the publisher. After that, it’s too late.

Look for these types of readers:

  • The Best Seller Reader. You want someone who reads tons of best sellers to read your manuscript, especially if you eventually want your name on those lists.
  • The Fan Reader. Once you have established a fan base for your works, you need to get one of them to become your fan reader. The fan reader will let you know when you’ve gone too far when it comes to killing off a character, etc. I changed the order of my prologue in Out of the Shadows around because my fan reader almost had a heart attack when she thought I had killed off my main character, Davian.
  • The Director Reader. If you can find someone who likes to direct movies, get him or her to read your manuscript. They will find places where your action is lagging or where you’ve shown instead of told. My director reader, Steve Burton told me to “raise the stakes” in one of my scenes in A Prophecy Forgotten, and following his advice helped the story.
  • The Literature Lover. You need one of these. They love to read classical literature that the rest of us snore through, and they love art films. They will catch your thematic issues and character development problems. Just be sure to ignore most of their advice when it comes to action scenes.
  • The Genre Reader. If your manuscript doesn’t appeal to those who read your genre, you have a problem, which is why you need a genre reader to look over your manuscript. Genre readers can also give you some great ideas you haven’t thought of, and they can let you know if your writing style is too much like another authors’.
  • The Grammar Snob. You need one of these to read your final copy—the one you create once you adjust it after listening to your other advance readers’ comments.

Your readers need to be willing to criticize your work. You don’t want someone who is too afraid to tell you what they think. You want someone who is willing to say, “This sucks, and here’s why.”

How to find advance readers. This part is easy. Just ask. You’ll find several people who love to read and who will appreciate the opportunity to read and comment on your writing. They will take being asked as a compliment.

Once you found about five advance readers, you need to get them your manuscript, and you need to do it cheaply because paper, ink, and copies are expensive. I take my manuscript, single space it, and divide it into two columns like a magazine. It’s easier to read single spacing in a two column format. I also shrink the margins to ½ inch, and I make the font 11 instead of 12. I copy everything front and back to shrink the amount of paper I use. (I have one reader who prefers to use Microsoft Word’s comment function, so I email him the actual double-spaced manuscript.)

Once I make my copies, I hand my advance reader a manila envelope containing: the manuscript, a red pen, and a note pad for them to write on.

Oh, yeah, and I also give them a letter that 1) gives them permission to hurt my feelings without retaliation, and 2) threatens their life and the lives of their family members if they breathe a word about my true villain to anyone. *wink wink*

Stay tuned for the next post in this series, which talks about dealing with your advance readers’ critiques…

Fantasy novelist M. B. Weston is the author of The Elysian Chronicles, a fantasy series about guardian angel warfare and treason. Weston speaks to children, teens, and adults about writing and the process of getting published. For more information on M. B. Weston, visit www.mbweston.com. Find out more about The Elysian Chronicles at www.elysianchronicles.com.

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Today’s Writing Muse: the Overgrown Fountain

Posted on August 14, 2012 by M. B. Weston

And now it’s time for a new writing muse. I’ve found inspiration in some of the oddest places. This overgrown fountain (left) is located in downtown Dilsborro, North Carolina. I love how the fountain is covered in ivy, mainly because you can’t really see what is underneath. It sparks curiosity.

Finding inspiration in everyday items such as this is often as easy as asking yourself the six question words we learned in elementary school:

  • Who?
  • What?
  • When?
  • Where?
  • Why?
  • How?

What is underneath the ivy? A statue? Te secret to long last treasure engraved in the stones? A secret entrance to an underground laboratory? (We’re writers. The answer should never be boring.) Why was the fountain abandoned? Is it haunted? Did the owners die? When did that happen? Who might be involved? Possibly the caretaker knows a secret about the fountain that only a few in history have been privy to. Where can I locate this fountain in my story to create atmosphere? Why does this fountain matter? (Don’t mention the fountain if it doesn’t have a purpose.) How can my character unlock the secrets of this fountain?

Questions like these can ignite the spark that will become the backbone of your story. If you need inspiration, take this fountain make it your own. Unlock the story behind it, and let it unfold before your eyes. (Make sure to share what you did with it in the comments if you end up using it.)

Ready? Set? Write!

Fantasy novelist M. B. Weston is the author of The Elysian Chronicles, a fantasy series about guardian angel warfare and treason. Weston speaks to children, teens, and adults about writing and the process of getting published. For more information on M. B. Weston, visit www.mbweston.com. Find out more about The Elysian Chronicles at www.elysianchronicles.com.

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Tools for Writing: A Mini-Thesaurus

Posted on August 13, 2012 by M. B. Weston

Why keeping a cheat sheet of common words will help your writing.

When I posted a blog on:  The Writing Process: Part 7 – Editing for Grammar & Style, I mentioned using a thesaurus. I also posted a section about minimizing your characters’ common gestures, where I said,

An advance reader of mine counted the instances where my character, Davian, crossed his arms. The tally: once every three pages in a 400 page manuscript. Your characters may not cross their arms as much as Davian, but they probably smile, frown, and laugh once every page. Change it up.

I discovered a few years ago that I was continuously looking up the same words in my thesaurus, and most of them dealt with my characters’ gestures, movements, and facial expressions.  I created a list of the words I needed synonymns for the most and keep it near when I’m editing. I figured I would share it here. If you know of more words to add, please feel free to add them in the comments section. Also, you will notice that I have a Products of Fire section. My writing includes warfare and explosions so I found that necessary. You might not need that section, but feel free to create sections that fit your stories.

Frown: Glower, Glare, Scowl, Grimace, Mope, Sulk
Glare: Glower, Scowl, Frown
Smile: Grin, Beam, Simper (smug), Smirk, Look amused, Look delighted
Sigh: Moan, Groan, Exhale, Breathe, Pant, Whisper, Huff
Eyed: Look at, Gaze at, Stare at, Contemplate, Study, Survey, View, Inspect, Scrutinize, Scan, Glance at, Regard, Behold, Eyeball, Ogle, Lear, Make eyes at, Give the eye to
Walk: Stroll, Saunter, Amble, Plod, Trudge, Hike, Tramp, Trek, March, Stride, Step out, Pace, Hike, Toddle
Run: Rush, Hasten, Hurry, Dash, Sprint, Blot, Dart, Gallop, Scurry, Scamper, Scramble, Scoot, Jog, Lope, Scuttle
Yell: Shout, Cry out, Howl, Scream, Shriek, Screech, Squeal, Roar, Bawl, Whoop, Holler, Bellow
Products of fire: Ash, Brand, Charcoal, Cinder, Cinders, Fumes, Smoke, Soot, Spark, Stub
People: Folks, Humans, Commoners, Individuals, Societies, Crowd, Folk, Humanity, Inhabitants, Masses, Mortals, Persons, Plebeians, Rabble, Tribe, Public, Men and women, Adults

If you have any other words to add, please be sure to let everyone know in the comments!

Fantasy novelist M. B. Weston is the author of The Elysian Chronicles, a fantasy series about guardian angel warfare and treason. Weston speaks to children, teens, and adults about writing and the process of getting published. For more information on M. B. Weston, visit www.mbweston.com. Find out more about The Elysian Chronicles at www.elysianchronicles.com.

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The Writing Process: Part 7 – Editing for Grammar & Style

Posted on August 10, 2012 by M. B. Weston

A few weeks ago, a friend of mine asked via Twitter: “Mrs. @mbweston, what’s your writing process?” To answer his question, I’ve been writing a series of blog posts about how I go about my personal writing process. So far, we’ve covered:

Note: I recognize that every topic I’ve mentioned in this series deserves more intense discussion. I hate rushing through these items, and I guarantee you I will be covering them in more detail later.

Also Note: My next writing process post discusses using advance readers. To save time, you may opt to get your manuscript to your advance readers before the “editing for grammar and style” step—especially if you’re on deadline. On one hand, if you end up needing massive re-writes, you won’t feel like you’ve wasted your time editing. On the other hand, however, you don’t want your advance readers finding all your grammar mistakes instead of looking for important storyline issues.

Editing your final draft for grammar and style is like polishing a fresh-cut diamond. At this stage, you should have completed the structural changes in your manuscript. Like the diamond, your story only needs the final polish to make it sparkle. In this stage, you will concentrate on revving up your weak verbs, increasing your manuscript’s vocabulary, and fixing your remaining grammar mistakes.

Required tools:

  • Strunk & White’s Elements of Style. It’s the only grammar book you will need, and it’s really short. Buy it, read it, refer back to it.
  • At least one thesaurus. You can never have too many thesauruses. I use four. If you use Microsoft Word, you’ve got 1) a thesaurus built into the software. (Right-click on a word and choose synonyms.) I also use 2) www.thesaurus.com [http://thesaurus.com/], 3) a thesaurus app on my iPad and iPhone, and 4) my handy-dandy, old-fashioned, hard-copy Webster’s thesaurus.
  • A good dose of perfectionism. Channel the picky person who annoys you the most. Remember, that person is probably the editor deciding whether or not to buy your manuscript.
  • Patience. Good editing takes longer than you expect. If you’ve written a novel, it will probably take you a week. Expecting the editing to take a while when you begin will keep you hammering on even after you become sick of your manuscript—if you aren’t sick of it already.

Grab your red pen and a caffeinated beverage of your choice. Tell your family and friends to leave you alone for a while, and hunker down.

What you’re looking for:

  • Grammar mistakes. This requires basic grammar knowledge. If you don’t feel comfortable with your grammar skills, start reading some books on grammar.
  • Do a find/replace search on your common grammar issues. Do you use there instead of their or you’re instead of your? Use Word’s find/replace tool. Find your which’s and that’s, and to, too, and two. You know your weaknesses. Seek them out.
  • Improve your manuscript’s vocabulary. Make your nouns and adjectives as specific as possible. Don’t say, “It smelled delicious.” Say, “It smelled like cinnamon and raisins.” Don’t tell everyone the car was red. Make it scarlet, candy-apple, or hot-rod red. Use your thesaurus/es to help you find better, more descriptive words. The words you choose and their connotations help the reader form a picture of your story in her head. Make them good.
  • Eliminate words used twice or in a section—within reasonable limits of course. Some words you just can’t change. But if you find yourself using computer five times in a few paragraphs, try using monitor, keyboard, mouse, etc. Trust me, your advance readers and your editor will be asking you to change it so you may as well do it now.
  • Use strong verbs. The verb is the most important part of a sentence within a work of fiction. We read fiction to find out what will to happen next. Happening implies a verb. Get rid of your being verbs (is/are/was/were/been/being) and other blah verbs when possible. Don’t say, “The dark tower was tall.” Say, “The tower loomed above them, casting shadows across their path.” Your characters shouldn’t walk. Walk is boring and implies fifteen different ways of walking. Be specific. Your characters should saunter, trudge, skip, or stroll. Make your verbs paint pictures in your reader’s mind the same way your adjectives and adverbs should.
  • Try to eliminate those adverbs. An adverb modifies a verb. If your verb needs modifying, you can probably choose a more specific verb and eliminate the adverb.
  • Eliminate passive voice. Do a find/replace search on there, is/are/was/were/been/being, and by: the key words in most passive voice sentences.
  • Minimize your characters’ common gestures. An advance reader of mine counted the instances where my character, Davian, crossed his arms. The tally: once every three pages in a 400 page manuscript. Your characters may not cross their arms as much as Davian, but they probably smile, frown, and laugh once every page. Change it up.

Added bonus: The longer you practice finding these mistakes, the less you will use them when you are writing future manuscripts.

What can ruin your editing time:

  • Exhaustion. If you’re exhausted, you simply won’t catch the incorrect there, their, or they’re, nor will you worry about changing blue to cobalt. I once stayed up for over 48 hours to write a 6,000 word short story. I turned it in, thinking I had done a great job of editing. When reread the story in a well-rested state, I found several grammatical problems. Get sleep.
  • Getting too “into your story.” If you catch yourself playing your manuscript’s scenes in your head as though it were a movie, hooray for you! You’ve written a story that keeps even you, the author who has read it over three hundred times and knows the ending, captivated. You’ve got a problem, however. You can’t catch editing mistakes if you are enjoying your plot. Do whatever it takes to stay outside the story. Take breaks; turn on dissonant music; do pushups if you don’t catch any errors for three pages. If you have to read the story backwards do it.
  • Getting lazy. Edit your last page with the same intensity as you edited your first.

Enjoy your editing, and may you always be blessed with a pen full of red ink!

Fantasy novelist M. B. Weston is the author of The Elysian Chronicles, a fantasy series about guardian angel warfare and treason. Weston speaks to children, teens, and adults about writing and the process of getting published. For more information on M. B. Weston, visit www.mbweston.com. Find out more about The Elysian Chronicles at www.elysianchronicles.com.

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The Writing Process Part 6: Cutting Your Darlings

Posted on August 8, 2012 by M. B. Weston

A few weeks ago, a friend of mine asked via Twitter: “Mrs. @mbweston, what’s your writing process?” To answer his question, I’ve been writing a series of blog posts about how I go about my personal writing process. So far, we’ve covered:

FACT 1: Your 2nd draft will probably have more words than your final edit.

FACT 2: If it doesn’t, you didn’t cut enough out of your 2nd draft.

We’re writers. We love words. We play with words. We try to outdo someone else’s words. Words are our playground, and this love affair causes us to use far too many of them. We add unnecessary scenes because they are “cool.” We over-describe things. We create redundancies just to make sure our readers “get the point.”

Once you’ve added in your description, you must face the most feared part of the writing process: the chopping block. You will need to cut scenes, sentences, and sometimes even characters, and you will hate it. But you will carry on with your task because you know it will make your completed work a tighter, more concise piece of literature. So just do it, and don’t look back.

Okay, I’m done giving myself a pep talk for my own writing projects. 😉 Let’s talk about editing and “cutting your darlings” as Stephen King calls it in his book: On Writing.

First, create a folder called “Deleted Scenes” for your specific writing project. Put your deleted scenes here. Why?

  • It feels much better to move a scene from one place to another instead of sending it permanently to the recycle bin.
  • You or your editor might decide to put it back in.
  • You can always post it on your writing blog later. (See below)
  • You might use it in a future book within your series.

Once you have created your deleted scenes folder, it’s time to start cutting. (You can put a box of tissue and make sure the number to your writing pal is on speed dial if it helps.)

Read back through your manuscript and cut anything that isn’t necessary. This is tricky because you will insist to yourself that everything is necessary. To illustrate, here is a scene from Out of the Shadows that didn’t survive to the final draft. Note that the language is a bit silly. I cut this scene before the final edit, which I will discuss in my next blog. (For those of you who have read OOTS, this takes place in the Outer Command Tower.)

Davian Marcus, Copper, Lorne, and Klous entered the banquet hall for dinner, and Davian heard laughing and clapping inside. Once they entered, Davian saw the reason for the laughter.

Tyce and Theo were dancing together on top of the tables, kicking their feet up and locking arms as they balanced arrows on their noses. The soldiers passed articles, from daggers to sunstars, around as they wagered on how much longer the two could keep it up. Gabriella sat at the table laughing with the rest.

Marcus growled. “Looks like the boy forgot the lecture you gave him this afternoon.”

Theo’s arrow finally tumbled off and fell into Gabriella’s hand. Tyce pushed Theo aside and raised his arms as the champion. Applause thundered throughout the banquet hall. Tyce’s smile broadened when he saw Gabriella holding the arrow. “That means you have to dance with me!” He scooped Gabriella up and began twirling her around on the table.

Davian felt his insides turn around.

Tyce picked Gabriella up by the waist and flung her, spinning, into the air—a typical cherubian dance move, and Gabriella reacted appropriately. She tucked her head and crossed her arms and ankles so she could spin as fast as possible. She was supposed to open her wings the moment she began to fall. Unfortunately, both Gabriella and Tyce forgot her wings were broken. Gabriella’s arms flailed grasping only air as she plummeted to the ground.

Tyce grabbed her arm just before she hit the floor, pulled her up, and caught her in his arms. He laughed, spinning her around once before he set her down. “Sorry, my lady. I forgot your wings didn’t work.”

I tried to convince myself to keep this scene for these reasons:

  • It shows that Tyce likes Gabriella and is flirting with her.
  • It shows that Theo and Tyce are jokesters.
  • It shows that Tyce is disobeying an order (previously given by his commanding officer because he has a sore foot that needs to heal). I wanted the reader to see Tyce showing disrespect to Davian, which is integral to Tyce’s behavior later.
  • It also shows that Tyce, though he likes Gabriella, doesn’t really care that much for her safety. He tosses her into the air even though he knows her wings are broken. He is careless with her. That shows something to the audience.
  • I just liked it. It’s a fun scene with a little bit of flirtatiousness in it, and we ladies like flirting scenes.

I overruled myself by asking myself the questions below, which are questions each writer should ask of a scene during the cutting process. (And yes, editing makes you feel schizophrenic.)

  • Is this scene necessary to my plot?
  • Is this scene necessary for character development?
  • Is this scene necessary to my theme/s?

Is this scene necessary to my plot? Does it move your plot forward? Does it add information your characters will need later? Your plot is the integral part of your story; all scenes should somehow affect the plot. If the scene doesn’t help the plot move forward, you need to cut it, no matter how much you like it.

I can make a good plot argument for keeping the above scene. Tyce’s advances toward Gabriella are integral to her decisions later in Out of the Shadows and Book III. (I’ll bet a bunch of you who are waiting for Book III are mad at me—and Tyce—for throwing that one out there.) However, the scene doesn’t move the central plot forward, and I had already included other scenes with flirting. Hence, the axe…

Is this scene necessary for character development? If your scene doesn’t progress your plot along, you might be able to salvage it for character development purposes. Does it show something about your character that reveals more about who he is? Does it change your character or show him or her changing?

My earlier arguments to myself for keeping my deleted scene in the story were mostly based on character development. The reader saw a bit more of Tyce and Gabriella and the development of their relationship. However, as mentioned earlier, I already had several scenes that showed all of that.

Bottom line: the character development provided in this scene was not valuable enough to warrant keeping it. Hence, the axe…

Is this scene necessary to my theme/s? Treat your thematic content the same way your treat your character development content. If the content isn’t valuable enough to warrant keeping the scene, axe it!

The same goes for characters themselves. If the character isn’t necessary story, axe him or her.

Have I already done this before? If the same thing is happening in a different location, axe it.

Am I holding on to this scene because it develops part of my fantasy or science fiction world? This is one of my most common reasons I try to hold onto useless scenes. I want readers to experience my fantasy world. I must constantly remind myself that my reader doesn’t want to hang out in my world unless something interesting is going on there. If a scene’s only purpose is world development, axe it.

NOTE: If a scene contains key character development, world development, or thematic elements that you want to keep, you can rescue them in one of two ways:

  • Move those elements to a separate scene that is integral to the plot.
  • Make the scene central to the plot. Add in some information that the reader needs. Stage a nice battle or a fight. Add something in that the reader will need to recall at the end.

Cutting scenes that you have so lovingly created stings, but it’s necessary. My heart goes out to each of you struggling with this part of the process. Just remember, it only hurts for a while, and you can always blog on it! *wink wink*

Fantasy novelist M. B. Weston is the author of The Elysian Chronicles, a fantasy series about guardian angel warfare and treason. Weston speaks to children, teens, and adults about writing and the process of getting published. For more information on M. B. Weston, visit www.mbweston.com. Find out more about The Elysian Chronicles at www.elysianchronicles.com.

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M. B. Weston’s DragonCon 2012 Panel & Autograph Schedule

Posted on August 7, 2012 by M. B. Weston

M. B. Weston will again be attending DragonCon as a panelist this year. Her schedule (subject to change) is as follows:

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Title: Coming of Age
Description: YA authors talk about the books they read as teens.
Time: Fri 10:00 am Location: A707 – Marriott (Length: 1 Hour)

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Title: Villains in the Potterverse
Description: A discussion of those characters you love to hate: the bad boys and girls in Harry Potter’s world.
Time: Fri 02:30 pm Location: International South – Hyatt (Length: 1 Hour)

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Title: The Hunger Games- From Page to Screen
Description: So you’ve read the Hunger Games books, and you’ve seen the first movie. How did it fare in the transition from book to movie?
Time: Fri 05:30 pm Location: Hanover C – E – Hyatt (Length: 1 Hour)

——————-
Title: Belief Systems in SF and Fantasy 102
Description: A further exploration of the various kinds of belief systems found in sf and fantasy.
Time: Sat 02:30 pm Location: Fairlie – Hyatt (Length: 1 Hour)

——————-
Title: Tolkien & Lewis
Description: Lewis and Tolkien and Fantasy and Faerie. Author M.B. Weston, Professor Constance Wagner and more!
Time: Sat 07:00 pm Location: Hanover C – E – Hyatt (Length: 1 Hour)

——————-
Title: Reading: M.B. Weston
Time: Sun 10:00 am Location: University – Hyatt (Length: 1 Hour)

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Title: Autograph Session
Time: Sun 02:30 pm Location: M301 – M304 – Marriott (Length: 1 Hour)

Please note that Ms. Weston will not have a booth this year, but you can still purchase books at both her reading and her autograph session.

Fantasy novelist M. B. Weston is the author of The Elysian Chronicles, a fantasy series about guardian angel warfare and treason. Weston speaks to children, teens, and adults about writing and the process of getting published. For more information on M. B. Weston, visit www.mbweston.com. Find out more about The Elysian Chronicles at www.elysianchronicles.com.

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